Children and Grief

Funeral and Burial Services

Grieving children will often talk through or play out their concerns or fears if provided with a safe, supportive and creative environment, which is why we have dedicated a room in the funeral home to the children, designed especially for their needs.

At our funeral home, our Children’s programs are very close to our heart and we hope that you will take advantage of them if the need arises in your family. For example, we are honored to host the Children’s Tour at no additional cost to your family. The tour involves a twelve minute video on what will occur during the course of a visitation and funeral. The staff may guide children through the funeral home to help them feel more comfortable in a somewhat uncomfortable place that they may have trouble understanding. The tour is also informative for the parents or guardians experiencing death for the first time.

Please contact us to learn about the Children’s programs at our funeral home and in our community. If you have any questions, we are here to help in any way that we can.

Myths about Children & Grief

  • Young children do not grieve. Children grieve at any age. Their grief can be manifested in many ways depending on their age, developmental stage, and life experiences. Children often do a very good job at grieving intensely for a time and then taking a break. The break is usually in the form of play. Adults often mistake a child’s play as a sign that the child isn’t grieving, which is just not true.
  • Children should go to funerals. Children should not go to funerals. Both statements are myths. Children, even very young ones, should have a choice whether they want to attend the funeral. Each child handles their loss differently and should be allowed to grief as they wish. For their choice to be a meaningful one, they need information, options, and support.
  • Children get over loss quickly. Adults never get over a significant loss so why should children? The truth is that no one really gets over a significant loss. We can learn to live with the loss and adapt to the reality that the one we love is no longer here, but we can never forget the intense feeling of loss. Children may revisit their loss at different stages in their development and as their understanding of the loss changes, their grief may arise again.
  • Children will be permanently scarred by a significant loss. Children, like most people, are resilient. A significant loss can affect a child’s development but adequate support and continuing care can help them deal with their feelings of grief appropriately.
  • Encouraging children to talk about their feelings of grief is the best way to work through their loss. It is important to allow children to talk through their feelings and to promote open communication. However, other approaches, such as art, play, music, and dance allow children to express their feelings.

Children and adolescents may use these methods to express their grief and adapt to their loss with a more positive outcome. Working through grief and adapting to loss is important for children. Studies have shown that children and adolescents that have unresolved grief are at a higher risk for developing depression and anxiety as adults. It’s important then that family members recognize the needs of grieving children and help them access the resources they need.

Books

Books for Adults

After the Flowers: Life Beyond Widowhood – M. Nye

After Suicide –
John H. Hewett

All Alone: Surviving the Loss of Your Spouse –
Kathleen Rawlings Buntin

A Man You Know is Grieving –
James Miller & Thomas Golden

But I Never Thought He’d Die: Practical Help for Widows –
M. Nye

"Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul: Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One –
Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Coping with Life after Your Mate Dies –
D. Cushenberry and R.C. Cushenberry

Doors Close, Doors Open: Widows Grieving and Growing –
M. Lieberman

Father Loss, How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms With the Death of Their Dads –
Neil Chetnik

Footsteps through Grief –
Darcie D. Sims & Alicia S. Franklin

Good Grief -
Granger Westburg

The Grief Recovery Handbook –
John W. James, Russell Friedman

Healing a Father’s Grieving Heart –
William Shatz

Healing the Adult Siblings Grieving Heart –
Alan D. Wolfelt Ph.D - 100 practical helps for the unique grief after the death of a sibling

Hello from Heaven –
Bill and Judy Guggenheim

How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies –
Therese A. Rando, Ph.D.

I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal –
L. Feinberg

Instantly a Widow –
R. Sissom
A Christian faith perspective on healing after sudden loss

I Remember, I Remember –
Enid Traisman - A keepsake journal for the whole family to cherish

Just Us –
Wanda Henry Jenkins
For those who have lost a loved one by homicide

Letter to My Husband: Notes About Mourning and Recovery –
J. Truman

Living in the Shadow of the Ghosts of Grief –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
This compassionate guide will help you learn to identify and mourn your carried grief so you can go on to live the joyful, whole life you deserve.

Living with Grief, Loss in Later Life –
Kenneth J. Doka

Living with Grief at Work, School, Worship –
Joyce D. Davidson

Losing a Parent –
Fiona Marshall

Military Widow: A Survival Guide –
Joanne M. Steen & M. Regina

Moments for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One –
Lois Mowday Rabey

Older Bereaved Spouses –
D. Lund

The Other Side of Grief –
Darcie D. Sims & Alicia S. Franklin - For those who have been on the path of grief for some time and wonder ‘What does the other side of grief look like?’

Starting Over: Help for Young Widows and Widowers –
Adele Nudel

Suicide Survivor’s Handbook –
Trudy Carlson

Survival Handbook for Widows (and for relatives and friends who want to understand) –
R. J. Loewinsohn

Understanding Your Grief –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

10 Essential Touchstones for Finding HopeTear Soup –
Pat Schweibert

When Men Grieve –
Elizabeth Levang - For women who want to better understand how men grieve

When Someone You Love Completes Suicide – Sondra Sexton Jones

Why Are the Casseroles Always Tuna? –
Darcie Sims

Widow to Widow –
Genevieve Davis Ginsburg

Women in Mourning –
Jean Clayton

The Widow’s Financial Survival Guide –
Nancy Dunnan

The Widow’s Handbook: A Guide for Living –
C. Foehner and C. Cozart

The Wilderness of Grief: Finding Your Way –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Books for Children, Adolescents & Those Who Care for Them

After a Parent’s Suicide – Margo Requarth, MN MFT -Helping children heal

A Child’s View of Grief –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. - For parents and other caregivers

Brave Bart-Caroline Sheppard
A story for traumatized and grieving children

But I Didn’t Say Good-bye: Helping Children and Families After a Suicide –
Barbara Rubel

Don’t Despair on Thursdays –
Adolf Moser

Explaining Death to Children –
Earl A. Grollman

Facing Change – Donna O’Toole
Falling apart and coming together again in the teen years – A book about change for teens

Healing Your Grieving Heart for Kids –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph. D
100 Practical ideas, simple advice, and activities for children after death

Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
100 Practical ideas, simple advice, and activities for teenagers after death

How It Feels When a Parent Dies –
Jill Krementz

I Heard Your Mommy Died –
Mark Scrivani & Susan Aitken

I Heard Your Daddy Died –
Mark Scrivani & Susan Aitken

I Miss You: A First Look at Death –
Pat Thomas & Leslie Harker

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
– Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen

Ready…Set…R.E.L.A.X. –
Jeffery S. Allen & Roger J. Klein
For ages 5-13. Exercises and activities to help children overcome anxiety

Sarah’s Journey –
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

Sad Isn’t Bad –
Michaelene Mundy & R. W. Alley

What’s Heaven –
Maria Shriver

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death –
Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown

I’ll Always Love You –
Hans Wilhelm

Missing Hannah –
Darlene Kane

Badger’s Parting Gifts –
Susan Varley

Dragonfly Door –
John Adams

Flying Hugs and Kisses –
Jewel Sample

Books for Those Who Have Lost a Child

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart – Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. Surviving the death of your baby

For Better or Worse
– The Centering CorporationA book to strengthen marriages after a child dies

Grief of Parent: When a Child Dies – The Compassionate Friends

The Grief of Grandparents – Centering Corporation

Later Courtney: A Mother Says Goodbye – Susan Evans

Miscarriage – Sherokee Ilse and Linda Hammer Burns

Miscarriage: A Man’s Book – Rick Wheat

Our Stories of Miscarriage – Rachel Faldet and Karen Fitton

Remembering the Death of a Child – Robert R. Thompson, M.D.

Silent Cradle – Judy Gordon Morrow and Nancy Gorden help and understanding in time of pregnancy loss

Silent Sorrow – Guidance and Support for You and Your Family – Ingred Kohn, MSW and Perry-Lynn Moffitt

Strong and Tender – Perinatal Loss
A guide for the father whose baby has died

When Winter Follows Spring – Dorothy FergusonWaiting with Gabriel – Amy Kuebeleck - A story of cherishing a baby’s brief life

When a Baby Dies – Rana K Limbo, Sara Rich Wheeler and Susan T. Hassel

The Worse Loss : How Families Heal From the Death of a Child – Barbara D. Rose

Contact Us!

We are here to help you throughout this entire process. Do not hesitate to reach out and learn more.
Call Now - (307) 674-6329